Jun. 25th, 2002

incandescens: (Default)
Recognised the characters for another word in my manga -- katakana for "kuso". While this is a good sign in terms of pattern recognition, I'm not sure what it says about my vocabulary . . .

It's become a minor joke in my room at work, but I have no problem with that. Well, no real problem. It's rather nice, in a way, to feel that sense of humour which is at the same time saying yes, we appreciate you're working at it, good luck with it.

(the title for this section, btw, is the start of the chorus of the Mylene Farmer song I'm listening to, Anamorphosee)

I need to make my mind up re work: go back into clinical coding fulltime, or stay half-coder, half-analyst? Money's not the point, it's about the same for both. Jobwise, there's no direct advancement from analyst except as head-of-team, and that's certainly not something I'm going for. Prestigewise, analyst rates slightly above coder, but it's not a huge amount. Workwise, I'll probably be doing some Business Objects work as a fulltime coder, now that I can do it. CV-wise, I can now put down several months spent as an info analyst, if I want to.

But what the hell do I actually want to do with my life? Where am I really going to go with this job? Wildest dreams are one thing, but I need to pay the bills, and I will eventually be needing a bit more money than I currently do, and I'm not sure that I want to be just (just?) a clinical coder for the next twenty years.

This is more babble than I usually put up here.

(Mm, am-stram-gram, I love this song)

I'm having a vague, overtired image of wars and alliances between fictional characters in the back of one's head. If the brain is imagined as a library, what happens when fictional characters meet in it? It lacks a certain immediacy, though, as the character must under these circumstances recognise that he/she is not real, or not in their reality, which leads to a certain lack of urgency or enthusiasm. Still, a game to play.

But that's the problem -- it lacks the urgency and energy which is what makes character interactions _interesting_. Ergo, no. Or not in that form, at least.

I really must be wanting to avoid writing other stuff if I spend this long writing this. ;)

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