Number Seventy, Simmery Axe

[incandescens]

Back to work tomorrow. Oh well, it's been a nice few days off.

Have actually managed to get one of my ongoing chaptered things restarted, so am feeling moderately pleased about that.

I'm also listening to a sale-acquired CD of Gilbert & Sullivan's The Sorcerer, and am struck with the thought that John Wellington Wells' song is ideal for Urahara from Bleach. No question about it.

I've also just started Shadows of Undrentide, the sequel to Neverwinter Nights, and it is truly painful to go from being a 20th-level dragonslayer to being a pitiful little 1st level thief who regularly gets beaten up by kobolds. I mean, kobolds.

Fun, though.

---


The Sorcerer's Song

Oh! My name is John Wellington Wells -
I'm a dealer in magic and spells,
In blessings and curses,
And ever-filled purses,
In prophecies, witches, and knells!
If you want a proud foe to make tracks -
If you'd melt a rich uncle in wax -
You've but to look in
On our resident Djinn,
Number seventy, Simmery Axe!

We've a first-class assortment of magic;
And for raising a posthumous shade
With effects that are comic or tragic,
There's no cheaper house in the trade.
Love-philtre - we've quantities of it;
And for knowledge if any one burns,
We keep an extremely small prophet, a prophet
Who brings us unbounded returns:

For he can prophesy
With a wink of his eye,
Peep with security
Into futurity,
Sum up your history,
Clear up a mystery,
Humour proclivity
For a nativity.
With mirrors so magical,
Tetrapods tragical,
Bogies spectacular,
Answers oracular,
Facts astronomical,
Solemn or comical,
And, if you want it, he
Makes a reduction on taking a quantity!

Oh! If anyone anything lacks,
He'll find it all ready in stacks,
If he'll only look in
On the resident Djinn,
Number seventy, Simmery Axe!

He can raise you hosts,
Of ghosts,
And that without reflectors;
And creepy things
With wings,
And gaunt and grisly spectres!
He can fill you crowds
Of shrouds,
And horrify you vastly;
He can rack your brains
With chains,
And gibberings grim and ghastly.
Then, if you plan it, he
Changes organity
With an urbanity,
Full of Satanity,
Vexes humanity
With an inanity
Fatal to vanity -
Driving your foes to the verge of insanity.
Barring tautology,
In demonology,
'Lectro biology,
Mystic nosology,
Spirit philology,
High class astrology,
Such is his knowledge, he
Isn't the man to require an apology

Oh! My name is John Wellington Wells -
I'm a dealer in magic and spells,
In blessings and curses,
And ever-filled purses -
In prophecies, witches, and knells.
If any one anything lacks,
He'll find it all ready in stacks,
If he'll only look in
On the resident Djinn,
Number seventy, Simmery Axe!

-- W. S. Gilbert

Comments

[shiny-monkey.livejournal.com]

::waha:: You shouldn't be getting beaten up by the kobolds. I mean, they're pretty weak. That's why you start off with kobolds as your primary enemy at the beginning of the game!! =D

Is a teeny Bleach-type thing on its way to you via post, by the way. It's really quite silly, so I hope it makes you smile.

[incandescens]

Possibly my own fault for choosing to play a wimpy Elven Rogue? I'm sure a big muscular human fighter would be making the kobolds into piles of pulp at the rate of ten a minute.

(And the half-orc sorcerer is amusing.)

Thank you very much! I shall be watching the post.

[shiny-monkey.livejournal.com]

He is a mouthy thing, isn't he? But I do like having Dorna along (especially when you come across the halflings).

Incidentally, I've found it more helpful to choose Half-Elf as a race -- you get a lot of the benefits of being an Elf (night vision, good hearing, high spot/dexterity, etc.), but you also get the size, strength, and best of all constitution benefits of the Human race. Your Elven benefits aren't quite as high as full-blooded Elves' are, but then you still hear and see better than, say, an Orc. =)

[incandescens]

Hm -- haven't tried Dorna yet, being a thief myself. May give her a go.

(And bother, re half-elf-itude. Still, I can see why they turn to a life of crime. Check out http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=255 -- poor half-elf magician.)

[shiny-monkey.livejournal.com]

Ah, ah, I usually go for being a Ranger/Harper myself, and let Dorna take care of the locks for me (plus, being a Dwarf, she's got fabulous constitution).

Also... Painful killing is one of my five most favourite kinds! =D

[incandescens]

I want that paladin as my henchman, darn it. I could cower behind her and backstab/spellcast (when I get some wizard levels) very nicely indeed!

(How about disproportionate revenge for quasi-imagined slights?)

[shiny-monkey.livejournal.com]

I've played Shadows of Undrentide umpteen times and have never been able to get Mischa as a henchman. I don't know that it's possible without cheating -- I've looked through the online FAQs and walkthroughs and none of them mention being able to take anyone except Dorna and whatshisface.

And I'm with you on the revenge, disproportionate or otherwise. I'm very good at grudges =D

[incandescens]

Can't one get Mischa at all? Drat! I'd been looking forward to having her as my pet meat shield henchman.

[shiny-monkey.livejournal.com]

I've done my best playing, and I've done a lot of searching, and everything I've found has said that Xanos and Dorna are the only ones you can have. Which makes me wonder why Mischa's there at all -- I think that there must be some way to get her as a henchman, but I haven't been able to find it ;_;

[shiny-monkey.livejournal.com]

Okay, just did a really intense search on BioWare's own site, and there are only three henchmen you can get; Xanos, Dorna, and I won't spoil the third one for you (but it's not Mischa). =(

[incandescens]

Hm, right. Thank you very much for looking, anyhow!

[rvdammit.livejournal.com]

If you choose a premade character, your old one is on the list (both as created and "current" version). Or did you choose to start again at first level?

[incandescens]

Started again at first level.