Eric Idle -- As Some Day It May Happen
Apr. 19th, 2006 01:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
incandescensSaw this performed ages ago in a marvellous version of the Mikado set in an English seaside resort in the 30s. This particular song had its lyrics rewritten by the actor, who just happened to be Eric Idle . . . (I should note that his version of Ko-Ko had a heavy Cockney accent and grammar.)
KO-KO:
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found
I've got a little list -- I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground
And never would be missed -- they never would be missed!
There's weightlifters and bodybuilders, people of that sort,
Bank robbers who retire to Spain the minute they get caught,
Bishops who don't believe in God -- Chief Constables who do --
All people who host chat shows and the guests who's on them too,
And customs men who fumbling through your underwear insist
I don't think they'd be missed -- I'm sure they'd not be missed!
CHORUS:
He's got them on the list -- he's got them on the list,
And they'll none of them be missed -- and none of them be missed!
KO-KO:
There's the people with pretentious names like Justin, Trish, and Rob,
And the gynaecologist -- I've got him on the list!
All muggers, joggers, buggers, floggers, people who play golf,
They never would be missed -- they never would be missed!
All waitresses who make you wait, accountants of all kinds,
All actresses who kiss and tell and wiggle their behinds,
And pouncy little singers who to entertain us try
By dressing up like women and by singing far too high
And who on close observance must be either stoned or pissed
I don't think they'd be missed -- I'm sure they'd not be missed!
CHORUS:
He's got them on the list -- he's got them on the list,
And they'll none of them be missed -- and none of them be missed!
KO-KO:
There's the beggars who write letters from the Inland Revenue
And the gossip columnist -- I've got him on the list!
All critics and comedians and opera singers too
They never would be missed -- they never would be missed!
All traffic wardens, bankers, men who sell Venetian blinds,
All advertising chappies and Australians of all kinds,
And nasty little editors whose papers are the pits
Who fill their rags with gossip and with huge and floppy... writs.
And girls who sell the stories of the Tories they have kissed
But you must have got the gist -- 'Cause none of them'd be missed!
CHORUS:
You may put them on the list -- you may put them on the list
And they'll none of them be missed -- And none of them be missed!
KO-KO:
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found
I've got a little list -- I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground
And never would be missed -- they never would be missed!
There's weightlifters and bodybuilders, people of that sort,
Bank robbers who retire to Spain the minute they get caught,
Bishops who don't believe in God -- Chief Constables who do --
All people who host chat shows and the guests who's on them too,
And customs men who fumbling through your underwear insist
I don't think they'd be missed -- I'm sure they'd not be missed!
CHORUS:
He's got them on the list -- he's got them on the list,
And they'll none of them be missed -- and none of them be missed!
KO-KO:
There's the people with pretentious names like Justin, Trish, and Rob,
And the gynaecologist -- I've got him on the list!
All muggers, joggers, buggers, floggers, people who play golf,
They never would be missed -- they never would be missed!
All waitresses who make you wait, accountants of all kinds,
All actresses who kiss and tell and wiggle their behinds,
And pouncy little singers who to entertain us try
By dressing up like women and by singing far too high
And who on close observance must be either stoned or pissed
I don't think they'd be missed -- I'm sure they'd not be missed!
CHORUS:
He's got them on the list -- he's got them on the list,
And they'll none of them be missed -- and none of them be missed!
KO-KO:
There's the beggars who write letters from the Inland Revenue
And the gossip columnist -- I've got him on the list!
All critics and comedians and opera singers too
They never would be missed -- they never would be missed!
All traffic wardens, bankers, men who sell Venetian blinds,
All advertising chappies and Australians of all kinds,
And nasty little editors whose papers are the pits
Who fill their rags with gossip and with huge and floppy... writs.
And girls who sell the stories of the Tories they have kissed
But you must have got the gist -- 'Cause none of them'd be missed!
CHORUS:
You may put them on the list -- you may put them on the list
And they'll none of them be missed -- And none of them be missed!
