incandescens | tv cooking programmes are addictive

May have got a tiny bit carried away in making earrings/bracelets for people at work tomorrow. Ah well, these things do happen.

(And now I have proof that I have listened to Phantom of the Opera too many times, because my inner quote-supplier continues with, in an angry Italian soprano, "Si! Zese zings do 'appen! Well, unless you stop zese zings 'appening, zis zing does not 'appen! Ubaldo! Andiamo!")

The television is full of programmes about cooking for Christmas. It even had a program about television programs about cooking for Christmas. Now that's what I call self-referential.

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"Hitherto it has been assumed that for a funeral robe to exercise its most beneficial force it should be the work of a maiden of immature years, the assumption being that, having a prolonged period of existence before her, the influence of longevity would pass through her fingers into the garment and in turn fortify the wearer."

"Assuredly," agreed Wang Ho anxiously. "Thus was the analogy outlined to me by one skilled in the devices, and the logic of it seems unassailable."

"Yet," objected Lin, with sympathetic concern in his voice, "how unfortunate must be the position of a person involved in a robe that has been embroidered by one who, instead of a long life, has been marked out by the Destinies for premature decay and an untimely death! For in that case the influence—"

"Such instances," interrupted Wang Ho, helping himself profusely to rice-spirit from a jar near at hand, "must providentially be of rare occurrence?"

"Esteemed head," replied Lin, helping Wang Ho to yet another superfluity of rice-spirit, "there are moments when it behoves each of us to maintain an unflaccid outline. Suspecting the true cause of your declining radiance, I have, at an involved expenditure of seven taels and three hand counts of brash cash, pursued this matter to its ultimate source. The robe in question owes its attainment to one Min, of the obscure house of Hsi, who recently ceased to have an existence while her years yet numbered short of a score. Not only was it the last work upon which she was engaged, but so closely were the two identified that her abrupt Passing Beyond must certainly exercise a corresponding effect upon any subsequent wearer."

"Alas!" exclaimed Wang Ho, feeling many of the symptoms of contagion already manifesting themselves about his body. "Was the infliction of a painless nature?"

"As to whether it was leprosy, the spotted plague, or acute demoniacal possession, the degraded Shen Heng maintains an unworthy silence. Indeed, at the mention of Hsi Min's name he wraps his garment about his head and rolls upon the floor—from which the worst may be inferred. They of Min's house, however, are less capable of guile, and for an adequate consideration, while not denying that Shen Heng has paid them to maintain a stealthy silence, they freely admit that the facts are as they have been stated."

-- Kai Lung's Golden Hours, Ernest Bramah