even with a fairly clean conscience

I have a PDR at work tomorrow, and so I should probably get to bed early-ish and try to have a good night's sleep.

Bah. However adult I try to believe I am, something like this takes me back at once to school and the end-of-term report, and standing next to the teacher's desk, looking down at the paper with the marks for achievement and the marks for effort, and trying to justify why they aren't everything they should be.

(Still, I mentioned it to my mother when I phoned home at the weekend, to wish my father a happy Father's Day, and she said that she felt the same way too, so maybe it's just one of those things.)

---

The Lights Are On Everywhere

The Emperor must not be told night is coming.
His armies are chasing shadows,
Arresting whippoorwills and hermit thrushes
And setting towns and villages on fire.

In the capital, they go around confiscating
Clocks and watches, burning heretics,
And painting the sunrise over the rooftops
While the people wish each other good morning.

The rooster brought in chains is crowing.
The flowers in the garden have been made to stay open,
And still dark stains appear on palace floors
Which no amount of scrubbing can wipe away.

-- Charles Simic

letter for rvdammit - as sane as the next banana

Title: Letter: as sane as the next banana
Requester: rvdammit
Series: Amber
Requested Characters: Dworkin and Suhuy
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/878842.html


Good Lord Suhuy,

Inasmuch as we have at times been set against each other, not by our own wills but by those greater forces which both inhabit and constrain us, let us set aside this outer strife and renew our ancient friendship. For have we not both known pain and bitterness from this unwanted opposition? Should we both not rather

There’s a little unicorn living in my head and it says that you are a bad, bad man.

Little Unicorn says pooh bah sux to Snakey Wakey

and hope for a time of peace and growth, where our offspring may live and mingle in glorious harmony?

Yours in faith and hope of a future blessed by all powers,

Dworkin
Father to the King of Amber

letter for manonlechat -- so long, farewell, and isn't it a shame

Title: Letter: so long, farewell, and isn't it a shame
Requester: manonlechat
Series: Bleach
Requested Characters: Gin to Aizen
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/878842.html


O captain my captain,

This little note is to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I’m truly grateful, really I am. But I know you’ll understand when I tell you that I’m about to sell you down the river and tell Yamamoto everything I know about your plans. I figure that I can play the ‘led astray by evil captain since trusting youth’ card. He’ll buy it, you’ll have bought it, and I’ll be one more step on the way to being Captain Commander. Yeah, I know, it’s not really as shiny as being a god, but it has the same sort of fringe benefits and it don’t involve killing as many people in the process. And the old guy’s got to retire some time.

Lots of love,

Ichimaru Gin

PS – naah, not really. Got you laughing, didn’t I?

PPS -- but the real joke is that I knew you’d stand still while you read this with your back to the door, just long enough . . .

letter for r0ck3tsci3ntist -- tragically yours

Title: Letter: tragically yours
Requester: r0ck3tsci3ntist
Series: Bleach
Requested Characters: Ulquiorra to Orihime
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/878842.html


Woman,

I’m hurt. Genuinely hurt. I thought there was something genuine between us. I really thought that you cared about me, that your warm heart could reach out and embrace my tragic Hollow desperation. But instead you struck me. I asked you for your trust, but instead you gave me the back of your hand in cruel rejection.

But – no, I blame myself. I should have known that a beautiful mayfly of a human like you couldn’t resist my Byronic loneliness. Do you see this mask, woman? It is the mask of a killer! Yes, you do well to flee! You do well to cower and tremble!

Do not think too unkindly of me if you do not see me again. I shall be watching you constantly. When you sleep, I shall lurk in your room and watch your lovely face. When you wake, I shall follow you from afar and gaze down on you from the heights. Nobody will be allowed to hurt you. I shall protect you from all my enemies.

But remember me, woman. Remember the Espada who reached out to you, and whose heart you so cruelly bruised, whose proffered love you so mercilessly rejected.

Your desperate and forever alone

Ulquiorra


---
(Sorry, I couldn't help myself.)