sword use obligatory
Jan. 30th, 2006 04:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
incandescensThis one is for solaas:
It was a week after the whole Remake The Universe debacle, and the Homura-tachi was scanning the Situations Vacant columns in the paper. To be more precise, Shien was scanning them, Zenon was brooding, and Homura was brooding with extra style.
"I don't know what the point is," Homura said, breaking the silence. "It just won't be the same."
"How about this one?" Shien offered, having learned the hard way that simply arguing with his lord and master would be a dismal failure and involve at least half an hour's mournful we-should-just-have-slaughtered-everyone-in-the-first-place monologue, punctuated by the occasional oh-for-the-jade-fine-body-of-Konzen-Douji lament. "Wanted, superbly powerful beings for investigation of attempts to create new universe. Contact Brand of Amber. Family members need not apply."
Homura waved a dismissive hand. "Just like all the others. It'll end in tears. I know it."
"Mm." Shien ran a finger down the column. "Delivery Agents and Freelance Mercenaries wanted for restructuring of reality; contact Brains Trust, Babylon City, Mugenjou . . ."
Homura stared into the middle distance. "Small-scale penny-ante stuff."
"Yeah," Zenon agreed. "Once you get hired as a mercenary on that sort of scale, you're stuck with it. Minion-grade for the rest of your life."
Shien suppressed a comment of no doubt you'd know in the interests of avoiding violence, and turned over the page. He frowned. "This one might have more potential."
Homura sighed.
"Do you know better than your so-called superiors? Do you deserve to occupy God's place and stand alone above the sky? If so, we want you," Shien read aloud. "We have positions at all levels, from sacrificial minions to would-be world-conquerors merely using us and ultimately intending to betray us. Sword use obligatory."
Homura lifted his head. "Read that bit again."
"Sword use obligatory," Shien read obediently.
"I'm not convinced," Zenon commented, wandering over to read over Shien's shoulder. "Sounds too good to be true."
"Complete body modification and unspecified mutations optional," Shien read further, "though may be required if you wish to rise in our organisation. Currently in process of vigorous expansion after structured and decisive break from parent company. We offer an environment where you can claim the position you deserve and remake the world the way you know it ought to be. Contact Aizen Sousuke for on-the-job assessment and evaluation. Bring your sword."
"I like the sound of that," Homura said thoughtfully. "Sincere. Straightforward. Sword-involving."
Shien and Zenon exchanged a glance which, despite being blind on one side and one-eyed on the other, managed to convey a high degree of opinion.
"Anything else?" Homura inquired.
"Just the usual job terms," Shien reported. "Salary, death benefits, sword size in inches -- the usual."
"Contact them," Homura directed briskly, rising to his feet. "There may be some potential there." He swept out of the hall with a parting mutter of, "That'll show Konzen Douji . . ."
It was a week after the whole Remake The Universe debacle, and the Homura-tachi was scanning the Situations Vacant columns in the paper. To be more precise, Shien was scanning them, Zenon was brooding, and Homura was brooding with extra style.
"I don't know what the point is," Homura said, breaking the silence. "It just won't be the same."
"How about this one?" Shien offered, having learned the hard way that simply arguing with his lord and master would be a dismal failure and involve at least half an hour's mournful we-should-just-have-slaughtered-everyone-in-the-first-place monologue, punctuated by the occasional oh-for-the-jade-fine-body-of-Konzen-Douji lament. "Wanted, superbly powerful beings for investigation of attempts to create new universe. Contact Brand of Amber. Family members need not apply."
Homura waved a dismissive hand. "Just like all the others. It'll end in tears. I know it."
"Mm." Shien ran a finger down the column. "Delivery Agents and Freelance Mercenaries wanted for restructuring of reality; contact Brains Trust, Babylon City, Mugenjou . . ."
Homura stared into the middle distance. "Small-scale penny-ante stuff."
"Yeah," Zenon agreed. "Once you get hired as a mercenary on that sort of scale, you're stuck with it. Minion-grade for the rest of your life."
Shien suppressed a comment of no doubt you'd know in the interests of avoiding violence, and turned over the page. He frowned. "This one might have more potential."
Homura sighed.
"Do you know better than your so-called superiors? Do you deserve to occupy God's place and stand alone above the sky? If so, we want you," Shien read aloud. "We have positions at all levels, from sacrificial minions to would-be world-conquerors merely using us and ultimately intending to betray us. Sword use obligatory."
Homura lifted his head. "Read that bit again."
"Sword use obligatory," Shien read obediently.
"I'm not convinced," Zenon commented, wandering over to read over Shien's shoulder. "Sounds too good to be true."
"Complete body modification and unspecified mutations optional," Shien read further, "though may be required if you wish to rise in our organisation. Currently in process of vigorous expansion after structured and decisive break from parent company. We offer an environment where you can claim the position you deserve and remake the world the way you know it ought to be. Contact Aizen Sousuke for on-the-job assessment and evaluation. Bring your sword."
"I like the sound of that," Homura said thoughtfully. "Sincere. Straightforward. Sword-involving."
Shien and Zenon exchanged a glance which, despite being blind on one side and one-eyed on the other, managed to convey a high degree of opinion.
"Anything else?" Homura inquired.
"Just the usual job terms," Shien reported. "Salary, death benefits, sword size in inches -- the usual."
"Contact them," Homura directed briskly, rising to his feet. "There may be some potential there." He swept out of the hall with a parting mutter of, "That'll show Konzen Douji . . ."
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 04:53 pm (UTC)Homura in Aizen's hands would be quite the weapon....
Just don't let Homura and Byakuya get to brooding together.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:06 pm (UTC)"D*mn!" Aizen swore. "Release the flying monkeys."
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:15 pm (UTC)...but would S. White let Aizen borrow her flying monkeys?
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Date: 2006-01-30 06:18 pm (UTC)Battle called on account of emo taicho!
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 10:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 10:18 pm (UTC)"Tell me about your sister, Byakuya. Is she a sweet, fragile, sincere young woman?"
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 05:56 pm (UTC)If Aizen has flying monkeys I am so going over to his side.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-30 10:34 pm (UTC)