self-indulgence, or demonic documentaries
Jul. 25th, 2006 01:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
incandescensQA meeting tomorrow. Trip to Birmingham on Wednesday for briefing/education session for helpdesk. (Please, please, let the temperature inside the train be survivable.) OPCS-4.3 meeting on Thursday.
When, I ask, am I ever going to get any flipping work done.
Up to 28K/34K on current project.
---
(The following was a piece written for an In Nomine campaign. You have to love demons of the Media. When things go wrong, they stage a documentary about it. Turned it up while going through a load of old badly-named files which I really need to sort out and rename at some point.)
(sombre music)
(a single spotlight on a darkened stage)
(a laptop displaying a Napster screen)
(light spirals in to focus on the floating titles)
TERAPHIM : THE BALSERAPH, THE LEGEND, THE TRAITOR
(scene dissolves to a studio with a well-groomed Impudite sitting on a black leather sofa. In his lap he holds a black leather dossier embossed with the name Teraphim in gold)
IMPUDITE : Hello there! I'm Smooviel, and you all know why we're here tonight. We're here to examine the meteoric career of Teraphim, our latest tragic loss to the sadists of Heaven. We're going to study Teraphim's career -- the highs, the lows, the sordid love hotels. With the help of some of the people who knew him best, we hope to be able to shed new light on what could drive a successful, contented, brilliant Balseraph to betray everything and everyone he's always known, and to throw his career away down the sewer. (brilliant smile) And here's our first guest -- Malphas, Prince of Factions!
(wild canned applause as MALPHAS saunters onto the stage. He's got that indefinably classy arch-villain bearded look, with burning hypnotic eyes that somehow seem capable of implying that he'd appreciate you if only he got to know you. Malphas takes a seat beside Smooviel.)
MALPHAS : Thank you for letting me be the first guest on your show tonight, Smooviel. I appreciate it. I know how many other people must have wanted to be here.
SMOOVIEL : (going pink around the ears) Think nothing of it, most gracious Prince of Factions. It's an honour to have you here. Thank you for sparing some time away from your busy schedule of bringing conspiracy, division, and misery to the Earth. We all appreciate the work you do there.
(wild screams of enthusiasm and applause from audience -- cameras give brief shots of Lilim stripping off their clothing to show WE LUV U MALFIE painted on their nude bodies)
MALPHAS : (nods graciously to the audience) I do my best. But it was Teraphim we're here to discuss, isn't it? Ah, Teraphim. My protege. And now one of my greatest disappointments.
SMOOVIEL : (picking up on his cues) Your protege, dread Prince?
MALPHAS : I like to think that I saw the potential in him long before Heaven did. Really, when you look at his brother . . .
(behind the two of them, screen shows images of Rigziel taken from Earth duty, looking big and thugly, with axe and blood and interestingly ripped clothing)
MALPHAS : . . . there couldn't be a bigger difference. One nothing but a common thug, a minion, an axeman for the Axeman. And the other one -- well. A thinker. A craftsman. An architect. A manipulator. A Balseraph who brought discord to the masses. A producer who brought television and music wherever it was needed, whether on Earth or Hell. (brilliant smile) You know, Smooviel, sometimes I look at my subordinates and wonder how far they're going to go. With Teraphim I knew.
SMOOVIEL : (biting back obvious jealousy) But could you have known, then, about what happened yesterday?
MALPHAS : (takes grieved breath) Ah, Teraphim. I suppose one could say that any genius may contain the seeds of his own destruction. Despite his notorious tastes for Cherubim, his corporeal indulgences, his disdain for authority -- even then, I thought he might still be able to become what I knew he could be. (smiles at audience) Hell is a land of opportunity. You all know that. But Teraphim has squandered his chances. For the last time.
SMOOVIEL : Thank you for that, Prince Malphas.
MALPHAS : (flicks out business card, tilts it so the camera can zoom in on it. His name and his phone number) And if any of you out there think you can do better -- you know who to call.
(brief pause for commercials advertising new game show pitting fundamentalists from different sects against each other -- DAMN YOUR NEIGHBOUR)
(light comes back on set to show Smooviel alone again)
SMOOVIEL : And here's a more recent friend of Teraphim's, in an exclusive interview on this show!
(LILIM STARLET sways on stage, drapes herself decoratively over the sofa and over Smooviel)
SMOOVIEL : Feeata, darling, it's so good to see you here.
FEEATA : And you, sweetheart. And you. (blows kiss to camera) And all of you.
(camera pans over her red lips and her perfect hairstyle, before diving happily into her cleavage and staying there)
SMOOVIEL : I think that you were one of Teraphim's conquests?
FEEATA : Well, darling, I'll admit that he wasn't my first choice, but . . . he was one of the people who really made me, if you know what I mean. The coffee. The contracts. The beanie babies.
SMOOVIEL : (holds little Superior Laurence Beanie Baby up to camera) I believe Teraphim pioneered this line of merchandise?
FEEATA : He always had a genius for rampant commercialism. (breathes deeply, weeps a single tear, holds handkerchief to her heaving breasts) Oh, how can I bear to do without him! When I think of him in Heaven, tortured in agony, writhing in the grip of those cruel Malakim, screaming in pain . . .
(screen behind the two of them gives artistic impressions of the Presumed Agonising Torture of Teraphim In Heaven)
FEEATA : . . . darling, I can't bear to think about it. Do you suppose they really make Balseraph-hide jackets?
SMOOVIEL : They do, honey, they do. Just watch our latest movie for the details. In full colour.
(brief ad break with trailer for THE HIDE, THE HORROR: THE BALSERAPH SKIN TRADE)
(camera returns to Smooviel, alone again)
SMOOVIEL : And now, dudes and dudettes, we have someone who can give us the lowdown on what's been going on more recently with our Teraphim. Yes, it's our local Gamester, Zach!
(screams and howls of disapproval and mass murder from the audience as ZACH, a Shedite wearing a banner saying Local Game Rep 30523a floats over to hover by the sofa)
ZACH : (waves a tentacle) Hey, guys! Cool to be with you all tonight! Just remember -- it's patriotic to watch Perdition TV!
SMOOVIEL : Sounds like the audience doesn't like you that much, Zach.
ZACH : Hey, it's okay. I mean, I could have brought a chainsaw and a few damned souls with me . . .
(shrieks of, "The chainsaws! Bring on the chainsaws!")
ZACH : . . . but I figured you'd all rather hear the truth about the Teraphim case.
(a hush slowly falls)
ZACH : (darkly) Smooviel, Teraphim was targeted. We've got the evidence. The angels went after him through his business. They went after him through his friends. They worked to cut him off from the people who knew him.
(shots from the earlier Roz Documentary flash behind them on the screen, showing Roz + Malakim)
SMOOVIEL : (frowns) They really saw him as that big a threat?
ZACH : I'm afraid they did, Smooviel. Teraphim was a mover and shaker. They had to take him down, or he'd have destroyed their whole operation in the area. And I regret to say that they succeeded.
SMOOVIEL : (doing a good impersonation of a reporter) But . . . how?
ZACH : Well, I could tell you about it, Smooviel, but then I'd have to kill you.
(both laugh)
ZACH : No, seriously. You've heard of cult tactics? Well, that was what they did to him. They infiltrated his friends. Worked on the weaker people around him, like that Habbalite Roz, in order to isolate him. They hit him in the business, where it really hurts. And at the same time -- well, we're all weak at times -- they hit his weaknesses too.
(images of fluffy-winged beautiful angels in implausible string bikinis flash up on screen)
ZACH : (to audience) You've got to understand. Heaven knows how to do this sort of thing. They've done it before. They're good at it.
(anti-Heaven screams from audience)
ZACH : I'm not saying that Teraphim did everything right. He should have talked to someone. All right, I can understand it if he hadn't come to us -- but he could have gone to his friends in the Media. He could have gone to the people who know him. Perhaps, if he'd played it right, if he'd used them instead of letting them use him, things might have been different.
(screen behind him shifts to an image from the Documentary That Should Have Been, showing Terry in extremely expensive suit and sunglasses sitting at an expensive desk and making an expensive phone call, with one of the bikinied angels from before kneeling at his feet on a collar and leash)
ZACH : But it wasn't like that.
SMOOVIEL : I hear there have been some shakeups in the area, Zach?
ZACH : You've heard right, Smooviel. We've had to import extra forces. Lives have been lost. We've barely managed to hold onto some of the Tethers there. We all know how far Heaven can go when they want information. Well, Teraphim's in their hands now, and we have to assume that eventually he'll tell them everything they want to hear. (holds up a tentacle) I know, I know. He's not the sort to roll over and answer questions. Well, Smooviel, I'll be frank with you. Judgment up there is just as bad as we are. Worse. And they've got him. Their Malakim have him now. Believe me -- if we ever see him again . . .
SMOOVIEL : If we see him again?
ZACH : (looks to audience) Most of us have seen one of the "Redeemed", haven't we? The ones where the brainwashing succeeded, where Heaven turned them into mindless little zombies and sent them on suicide runs. We know the way their eyes glaze over, the way they recite their little prayers as they try to kill us -- for our own good. (sighs) Even the Game never says that. But Heaven does.
(screams from audience)
ZACH : I'd have liked to meet Teraphim. While, you know, he still was Teraphim. Before this.
(lights go down)
(slowly closing titles come up, interspersed with images of Terry in his glory days, and Terry now being tortured/brainwashed by cruel Malakim with piercings (artist's impression))
(fade to black)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK!)
When, I ask, am I ever going to get any flipping work done.
Up to 28K/34K on current project.
---
(The following was a piece written for an In Nomine campaign. You have to love demons of the Media. When things go wrong, they stage a documentary about it. Turned it up while going through a load of old badly-named files which I really need to sort out and rename at some point.)
(sombre music)
(a single spotlight on a darkened stage)
(a laptop displaying a Napster screen)
(light spirals in to focus on the floating titles)
TERAPHIM : THE BALSERAPH, THE LEGEND, THE TRAITOR
(scene dissolves to a studio with a well-groomed Impudite sitting on a black leather sofa. In his lap he holds a black leather dossier embossed with the name Teraphim in gold)
IMPUDITE : Hello there! I'm Smooviel, and you all know why we're here tonight. We're here to examine the meteoric career of Teraphim, our latest tragic loss to the sadists of Heaven. We're going to study Teraphim's career -- the highs, the lows, the sordid love hotels. With the help of some of the people who knew him best, we hope to be able to shed new light on what could drive a successful, contented, brilliant Balseraph to betray everything and everyone he's always known, and to throw his career away down the sewer. (brilliant smile) And here's our first guest -- Malphas, Prince of Factions!
(wild canned applause as MALPHAS saunters onto the stage. He's got that indefinably classy arch-villain bearded look, with burning hypnotic eyes that somehow seem capable of implying that he'd appreciate you if only he got to know you. Malphas takes a seat beside Smooviel.)
MALPHAS : Thank you for letting me be the first guest on your show tonight, Smooviel. I appreciate it. I know how many other people must have wanted to be here.
SMOOVIEL : (going pink around the ears) Think nothing of it, most gracious Prince of Factions. It's an honour to have you here. Thank you for sparing some time away from your busy schedule of bringing conspiracy, division, and misery to the Earth. We all appreciate the work you do there.
(wild screams of enthusiasm and applause from audience -- cameras give brief shots of Lilim stripping off their clothing to show WE LUV U MALFIE painted on their nude bodies)
MALPHAS : (nods graciously to the audience) I do my best. But it was Teraphim we're here to discuss, isn't it? Ah, Teraphim. My protege. And now one of my greatest disappointments.
SMOOVIEL : (picking up on his cues) Your protege, dread Prince?
MALPHAS : I like to think that I saw the potential in him long before Heaven did. Really, when you look at his brother . . .
(behind the two of them, screen shows images of Rigziel taken from Earth duty, looking big and thugly, with axe and blood and interestingly ripped clothing)
MALPHAS : . . . there couldn't be a bigger difference. One nothing but a common thug, a minion, an axeman for the Axeman. And the other one -- well. A thinker. A craftsman. An architect. A manipulator. A Balseraph who brought discord to the masses. A producer who brought television and music wherever it was needed, whether on Earth or Hell. (brilliant smile) You know, Smooviel, sometimes I look at my subordinates and wonder how far they're going to go. With Teraphim I knew.
SMOOVIEL : (biting back obvious jealousy) But could you have known, then, about what happened yesterday?
MALPHAS : (takes grieved breath) Ah, Teraphim. I suppose one could say that any genius may contain the seeds of his own destruction. Despite his notorious tastes for Cherubim, his corporeal indulgences, his disdain for authority -- even then, I thought he might still be able to become what I knew he could be. (smiles at audience) Hell is a land of opportunity. You all know that. But Teraphim has squandered his chances. For the last time.
SMOOVIEL : Thank you for that, Prince Malphas.
MALPHAS : (flicks out business card, tilts it so the camera can zoom in on it. His name and his phone number) And if any of you out there think you can do better -- you know who to call.
(brief pause for commercials advertising new game show pitting fundamentalists from different sects against each other -- DAMN YOUR NEIGHBOUR)
(light comes back on set to show Smooviel alone again)
SMOOVIEL : And here's a more recent friend of Teraphim's, in an exclusive interview on this show!
(LILIM STARLET sways on stage, drapes herself decoratively over the sofa and over Smooviel)
SMOOVIEL : Feeata, darling, it's so good to see you here.
FEEATA : And you, sweetheart. And you. (blows kiss to camera) And all of you.
(camera pans over her red lips and her perfect hairstyle, before diving happily into her cleavage and staying there)
SMOOVIEL : I think that you were one of Teraphim's conquests?
FEEATA : Well, darling, I'll admit that he wasn't my first choice, but . . . he was one of the people who really made me, if you know what I mean. The coffee. The contracts. The beanie babies.
SMOOVIEL : (holds little Superior Laurence Beanie Baby up to camera) I believe Teraphim pioneered this line of merchandise?
FEEATA : He always had a genius for rampant commercialism. (breathes deeply, weeps a single tear, holds handkerchief to her heaving breasts) Oh, how can I bear to do without him! When I think of him in Heaven, tortured in agony, writhing in the grip of those cruel Malakim, screaming in pain . . .
(screen behind the two of them gives artistic impressions of the Presumed Agonising Torture of Teraphim In Heaven)
FEEATA : . . . darling, I can't bear to think about it. Do you suppose they really make Balseraph-hide jackets?
SMOOVIEL : They do, honey, they do. Just watch our latest movie for the details. In full colour.
(brief ad break with trailer for THE HIDE, THE HORROR: THE BALSERAPH SKIN TRADE)
(camera returns to Smooviel, alone again)
SMOOVIEL : And now, dudes and dudettes, we have someone who can give us the lowdown on what's been going on more recently with our Teraphim. Yes, it's our local Gamester, Zach!
(screams and howls of disapproval and mass murder from the audience as ZACH, a Shedite wearing a banner saying Local Game Rep 30523a floats over to hover by the sofa)
ZACH : (waves a tentacle) Hey, guys! Cool to be with you all tonight! Just remember -- it's patriotic to watch Perdition TV!
SMOOVIEL : Sounds like the audience doesn't like you that much, Zach.
ZACH : Hey, it's okay. I mean, I could have brought a chainsaw and a few damned souls with me . . .
(shrieks of, "The chainsaws! Bring on the chainsaws!")
ZACH : . . . but I figured you'd all rather hear the truth about the Teraphim case.
(a hush slowly falls)
ZACH : (darkly) Smooviel, Teraphim was targeted. We've got the evidence. The angels went after him through his business. They went after him through his friends. They worked to cut him off from the people who knew him.
(shots from the earlier Roz Documentary flash behind them on the screen, showing Roz + Malakim)
SMOOVIEL : (frowns) They really saw him as that big a threat?
ZACH : I'm afraid they did, Smooviel. Teraphim was a mover and shaker. They had to take him down, or he'd have destroyed their whole operation in the area. And I regret to say that they succeeded.
SMOOVIEL : (doing a good impersonation of a reporter) But . . . how?
ZACH : Well, I could tell you about it, Smooviel, but then I'd have to kill you.
(both laugh)
ZACH : No, seriously. You've heard of cult tactics? Well, that was what they did to him. They infiltrated his friends. Worked on the weaker people around him, like that Habbalite Roz, in order to isolate him. They hit him in the business, where it really hurts. And at the same time -- well, we're all weak at times -- they hit his weaknesses too.
(images of fluffy-winged beautiful angels in implausible string bikinis flash up on screen)
ZACH : (to audience) You've got to understand. Heaven knows how to do this sort of thing. They've done it before. They're good at it.
(anti-Heaven screams from audience)
ZACH : I'm not saying that Teraphim did everything right. He should have talked to someone. All right, I can understand it if he hadn't come to us -- but he could have gone to his friends in the Media. He could have gone to the people who know him. Perhaps, if he'd played it right, if he'd used them instead of letting them use him, things might have been different.
(screen behind him shifts to an image from the Documentary That Should Have Been, showing Terry in extremely expensive suit and sunglasses sitting at an expensive desk and making an expensive phone call, with one of the bikinied angels from before kneeling at his feet on a collar and leash)
ZACH : But it wasn't like that.
SMOOVIEL : I hear there have been some shakeups in the area, Zach?
ZACH : You've heard right, Smooviel. We've had to import extra forces. Lives have been lost. We've barely managed to hold onto some of the Tethers there. We all know how far Heaven can go when they want information. Well, Teraphim's in their hands now, and we have to assume that eventually he'll tell them everything they want to hear. (holds up a tentacle) I know, I know. He's not the sort to roll over and answer questions. Well, Smooviel, I'll be frank with you. Judgment up there is just as bad as we are. Worse. And they've got him. Their Malakim have him now. Believe me -- if we ever see him again . . .
SMOOVIEL : If we see him again?
ZACH : (looks to audience) Most of us have seen one of the "Redeemed", haven't we? The ones where the brainwashing succeeded, where Heaven turned them into mindless little zombies and sent them on suicide runs. We know the way their eyes glaze over, the way they recite their little prayers as they try to kill us -- for our own good. (sighs) Even the Game never says that. But Heaven does.
(screams from audience)
ZACH : I'd have liked to meet Teraphim. While, you know, he still was Teraphim. Before this.
(lights go down)
(slowly closing titles come up, interspersed with images of Terry in his glory days, and Terry now being tortured/brainwashed by cruel Malakim with piercings (artist's impression))
(fade to black)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK!)
