incandescens | admiring creativity

I have to recommend http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Creme/dp/B000KKNQBK/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_t -- for the reviews. (Thank you,

archangelbeth.)

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springkink prompts thoughtfully)

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It's with some trepidation that I reveal my experiences with Veet for Men Hair Removal but seeing as everyone is sharing so freely it feels only right. I first read on Amazon a couple of weeks back about the properties of the product and the daring deeds of those early adopters were inspirational. I could feel the adrenaline surging within me like it hadn't since I retired from my first love, high diving, some twelve years back. For twenty four years I waxed my hirsute torso as it detracted from my act, diving from 150 feet into a small pool from a platform outside a Reno hotel. The obvious thing to do seemed to be to combine my first love with my first Veet experience.

To this end I placed an order with Amazon for 420 tubes of the removal agent and a child's swimming pool, saving on delivery charges with the excellent Amazon Prime. Soon the big day came and I filled the pool with the cool light blue gel. I worked through my trusted equations. If I were to jump 8 feet out from chimney height and fall 60 feet increasing my velocity and diminishing my sideways momentum at a rate of 9.8m/s I would land some 19 feet from the house at a speed of approximately 80 km per hour. This was exactly where I placed the pool.

I went to my top floor, its quite a high old house, and shimmied out of a velux window and pulled myself up to the crest. I didn't stand for long looking down, that never helps and my heart was already beating strongly but I did glance quickly at the twinkling pool of cool-looking gel. I tensed and leapt out the required eight feet. It was at this point, much in the same way that one remembers upon closing the house door that you've left your keys on the side, it occurred to me my trusty calculator was these days representing an 8 as a 9 because of a missing diode.

I knew then it would be sod's law and started to prepare immediately for landing short of the pool. As it was, I made a terrible decision to attempt to gain more distance but in doing so rolled to one side and landed on my back with a smack. That was doubtless painful but nothing compared to what was to come. You see, I managed to generate a small bounce from my contact with the stone floor. Not a big one but just enough to clear the side of a small children's swimming pool say. The worst part was the force of the collision left me unable to feel my legs. I found myself lying in the pool of initially cooling gel with no possibility of liberating myself.

A fortnight later I am still unable to talk in detail about the 14 hours I lay there waiting for my gardener to find me. A rough timeframe is something like this.

6 minutes - The exposed body hairs submerged melted into the gel.

47 minutes - hairs that had experienced only partial contact started to go.

132 minutes - my lycra jumping suit started to degrade.

138 minutes - newly exposed hairs melt

214 minutes - I thankfully lose the sense of smell in my nose, although the power is such I can still smell the substance through my ears.

423 minutes - My first eyebrow melts from fume exposure.

712 minutes - My eyelashes melt, welding my eyes shut.

Its been a long recovery period since my rescue some 850 minutes into my ordeal. Three nurses who have seen my scrotum have quit the profession immediately. I will live with a colostomy bag for as long as the next 15 months rather than attempt to urinate and I will have to hire four people to apply aloe vera to my privates for a matter of months. Its been very difficult to find the right claim code with the insurance company.

All this being said, its clearly an excellent product that does exactly what it says it will if used sensibly.

-- review from Ryan O'Plasty of Cirencester