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A Gentleman's Collection of Beastliness
Feb. 15th, 2008 02:16 amHad a pleasant day. Visited York, exchanged arch supports for a pair of the correct size, and made a few purchases, including an educational tome, which I shall now proceed to quote from.
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Theatre
A most disreputable form of entertainment, long associated with harlots, strumpets, fortune hunters and those of generally low moral character, both male and female, along with the rakes, roues, queans and frivolous women they attract. Why this should be is not immediately clear, for there is nothing inherently immoral in the practice of acting. Indeed, I myself have arranged the odd parish entertainment to no ill effect. However, a visit to any stage door in the land at the right hour will prove the truth of my assertion, as there you will witness every form of improper assignation, from unattended beauties climbing into gentlemen's carriages to, in extreme cases, lewd acts performed in convenient alleyways. As if such behaviour were not bad enough, in recent years the public have taken to lauding both actors and actresses, such as Miss L-- M-- and Mrs L-- L---, as if they had performed some great public service rather than merely postured on a stage, while their indiscretions are ignored or even admired.
Warning is frequently given to young women to avoid the stage for fear of encountering those who would seek to corrupt them, which is good advice, but I have found that the reverse is equally true, and that young men attending the theatre should beware of the temptations likely to be placed before them. Indeed, my advice would be that no person should attend any such establishment until they have attained an age at which they may make mature and seasoned judgements. Only thus may they avoid the snares laid for them by unprincipled young women seeking advantage and, worse, lavenderists.
I myself have suffered such attentions when, as a young curate, I frequently attended the theatre so that I might witness for myself those depravities associated with the profession. Following one performance I chanced to fall into conversation with what seemed a respectable gentleman, although at the time I recall thinking that his scent was unnecessarily strong and his choice of dress perhaps a trifle extravagant. Nonetheless, he seemed a pleasant enough fellow, and it was a cold night with a long walk back to my lodgings in prospect, so I gratefully accepted his offer of a glass of hot claret cup at his house in Bloomsbury. You may imagine my horror when, after no more than perhaps five or six glasses, he attempted an unspeakable intimacy upon my person, and it was only my youth, vigour and the fortunate proximity of a stuffed badger (Meles meles) with which to fend off his advances that enabled me to make my escape.
-- Curious Pleasures: A Gentleman's Collection of Beastliness, by the Rev'd Dr Erasmus St Jude Croom DD
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Theatre
A most disreputable form of entertainment, long associated with harlots, strumpets, fortune hunters and those of generally low moral character, both male and female, along with the rakes, roues, queans and frivolous women they attract. Why this should be is not immediately clear, for there is nothing inherently immoral in the practice of acting. Indeed, I myself have arranged the odd parish entertainment to no ill effect. However, a visit to any stage door in the land at the right hour will prove the truth of my assertion, as there you will witness every form of improper assignation, from unattended beauties climbing into gentlemen's carriages to, in extreme cases, lewd acts performed in convenient alleyways. As if such behaviour were not bad enough, in recent years the public have taken to lauding both actors and actresses, such as Miss L-- M-- and Mrs L-- L---, as if they had performed some great public service rather than merely postured on a stage, while their indiscretions are ignored or even admired.
Warning is frequently given to young women to avoid the stage for fear of encountering those who would seek to corrupt them, which is good advice, but I have found that the reverse is equally true, and that young men attending the theatre should beware of the temptations likely to be placed before them. Indeed, my advice would be that no person should attend any such establishment until they have attained an age at which they may make mature and seasoned judgements. Only thus may they avoid the snares laid for them by unprincipled young women seeking advantage and, worse, lavenderists.
I myself have suffered such attentions when, as a young curate, I frequently attended the theatre so that I might witness for myself those depravities associated with the profession. Following one performance I chanced to fall into conversation with what seemed a respectable gentleman, although at the time I recall thinking that his scent was unnecessarily strong and his choice of dress perhaps a trifle extravagant. Nonetheless, he seemed a pleasant enough fellow, and it was a cold night with a long walk back to my lodgings in prospect, so I gratefully accepted his offer of a glass of hot claret cup at his house in Bloomsbury. You may imagine my horror when, after no more than perhaps five or six glasses, he attempted an unspeakable intimacy upon my person, and it was only my youth, vigour and the fortunate proximity of a stuffed badger (Meles meles) with which to fend off his advances that enabled me to make my escape.
-- Curious Pleasures: A Gentleman's Collection of Beastliness, by the Rev'd Dr Erasmus St Jude Croom DD
