the curious sofa

[incandescens]

Hopefully got that ntl/debt thing sorted out. They said over the phone it had been fixed, so now I just get to wait and see.

My cold has shifted to the nose-blocked/head-stuffed stage, which has left me feeling rather devoid of inspiration. Bah.

Hopefully venturing into the wilds of Dewsbury tomorrow to locate UPS depot and pick up a package. I am most disappointed in UPS. They seem unable to locate my flat.

---

Sir Egbert offered to show them his famous sofa. Alice felt a shudder of nameless apprehension.

It stood in a windowless room lined with polar bear fur and otherwise empty; it was upholstered in scarlet velvet, and had nine legs and seven arms.

As soon as everybody had crowded into the room, Sir Egbert fastened shut the door, and started up the machinery inside the sofa.

When Alice saw what was about to happen, she began to scream uncontrollably . . .

-- The Curious Sofa: a pornographic work by Ogdred Weary, by Edward Gorey

Comments

[woodburner.livejournal.com]

.......*disturbed*

[incandescens]

Gorey is extremely disturbing.

[dreamlessness]

this quote (and my ever-lovable procrastination habit) got me researching on edward gorey.

i am fascinated.

[incandescens]

If you can get hold of Amphigorey, that's a collection of a lot of his stuff.

[space-parasite.livejournal.com]

There is also, I believe, Amphigorey Too. I forget which one is better if you can only afford one.

[avalonjones.livejournal.com]

And yet by all accounts, Mr. Gorey was a very sweet, gentle man who loved his cats. :D

[archangelbeth]

Just as incandescens and I are gentle, demure, civilized women -- who also have an affection for cats!

[avalonjones.livejournal.com]

I tip my hat to the both of you! And to Mr. Gorey, too. We miss you, sir.

[incandescens]

We do indeed.

[mikeneko.livejournal.com]

(psst. Can we request sofa spoilers? What does it do? ^^;)

[keelieinblack.livejournal.com]

You never find out! The lines quoted are the last ones of the story.

Really, I think it's one of those things better left to the imagination.

[absolute Gorey-phile]

[incandescens]

Gorey does expect a healthy imagination from his readers -- or should that be unhealthy?

[mikeneko.livejournal.com]

Nooooo . . .
My imagination began to break down with the polar bear fur, and the couch shorted out all remaining systems.

[incandescens]

There, there. Cold showers may help. Much may be achieved by prayer and fasting.

[incandescens]

Alas, as stated below, we never find out. That's where the story stops.

[mikeneko.livejournal.com]

Hmm. So I'll have to start asking for "red couch fanfic" now? (argh)

[incandescens]

I'm afraid that's one thing I would rather not explore.

UPS

[evilmagnus]

Well, see, UPS is an American company, so they don't know how to deliver stuff without a zip code. Also, their drivers keep trying to drive on the wrong side of the road, so often delivery trucks will get into crashes.

Finally, it is only by luring the unwitting to their Dewsbury lair that they can put into motion their master plan.


Also, that Gorey was a man for the Ages. A cross between Lovecraft and Hunter S. Thompson.

Re: UPS

[incandescens]

I have had some very unkind thoughts in the past about UPS, and this latest does nothing to mollify them.

(Also, true.)