incandescens: (Default)
While this does contain a whole lot of swear words
it is very amusing.

Monkey King: Myths Retold

YOU SHOULD RUN FOR OFFICE
THE OFFICE OF “GREATEST SAGE EVER”
WE ARE NOT SURE THAT IS AN OFFICE
BECAUSE WE ARE ONLY MONKEYS
AND FRANKLY, EVEN OUR ABILITY TO SPEAK IS PRETTY REMARKABLE
BUT HEY MAN IT’S WORTH A SHOT
and Wu K’ung is like you know what
you’re right
incandescens: (Default)
Title: Letter: someone's getting coal in his Christmas stocking
Requester: [livejournal.com profile] lady_ganesh
Series: Kuroshitsuji / Saiyuki
Requested Characters: Ciel, Hakkai
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/1022754.html


My good sir,

I am somewhat surprised by the tone of your letter. You accuse me of a number of acts which I would certainly never commit, and in fact had to ask my butler for definitions of the same. Were it not for the dignity of my rank, surely my young age would make it unlikely (if not impossible) that I should be engaged in opium-running, theft of religious objects, and kidnapping of dragons.

I reiterate that I have absolutely no knowledge of the whereabouts of your pet, and can only suggest that someone of your own class is more likely to be guilty of such a crime.

I wish you the best of luck in your future journey, but must close now, as a local religious dignitary (called Genjou Sanzou or something similar) has just arrived, presumably to ask for Christmas donations.

Yours faithfully,

Ciel, Lord Phantomhive
incandescens: (Default)
Title: the arcane art of punctuation
Requester: [livejournal.com profile] avalonjones
Series: Harry Potter / Saiyuki
Requested Topic: Goku is going to this really neat school and he writes a letter to Sanzo to tell him all about it and his new friends and all the neat stuff he's learning! (... sorry for the Goku-ish tone of the request...)
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/925482.html

Sanzo this place is so cool! I’m getting good marks in all the classes except for Potions which doesn’t count because Hakkai can cook better stuff than meanie old Snape any day and Snape says that he will be delighted to meet Hakkai on any occasion and I said that at least Hakkai’s hair is clean and Snape gave me extra chores and that meant I couldn’t do Kwidditch Qiditch Quidditch but that’s okay because Hermione (she’s like Yaone, she’s cute) says that cloud trapezes aren’t allowed anyhow which is really mean.

And that tower would have fallen down anyway.
incandescens: (Default)
Title: entertainment value
Requester: [livejournal.com profile] archangelbeth
Series: Saiyuki / Avatar
Requested Topic: Ummm... You know me and crossovers. Amber and/or Avatar and/or Saiyuki? (Jeepu and Momo might be adorable...) Prompt: Strangers/strange guests meeting on a holiday.
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/925482.html


Their new guests had all fallen asleep. Even the monk, who’d spent ages sitting around in front of the fire and smoking. Momo was curled up on top of their little dragon in front of the fire.

Then a woman appeared out of nowhere.

“Who are you?” Aang demanded. She was tall and wearing silk clothing, and so obviously Spirit World that it made him want to blink.

“I’m his aunt,” the woman said, nodding at the monk’s tent.

“And why are you here?”

She pointed a little box at Momo and Jiipu, and made it go click. “Blackmail photos.”
incandescens: (Default)
Title: when all else remains
Requester: [livejournal.com profile] avalonjones
Series: Saiyuki / Harry Potter
Requested Topic: Luna Lovegood and Jeep! A wonderful secret.
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/788099.html


"So, Miss Lovegood," Professor Flitwick squeaked. "Would you mind explaining why you were taking that hamper of food to the Forbidden Forest?"

Luna smiled happily. "It's because the little white dragon who I met there said that he and his friends needed more food before they went any further on their journey to defeat the evil Gyumaoh and find the stolen sutras and save the world. And he wanted cigarettes too for his friends but I told him they weren't healthy."

Professor Flitwick sighed. "For your future reference, Miss Lovegood, it's 'whom I met there', not 'who I met there'."
incandescens: (Default)
Title: confusing the issue
Requester: [livejournal.com profile] nadat
Series: Avatar / Saiyuki
Requested Topic: How about a Saiyuki and Avatar crossover, Prompt: Saving the world.
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/724310.html


"He won't turn into a jeep," Katara said, "however much you ask him to."

"But their one did," Aang protested, squeezing Momo hopefully.

"Yes, well. Their one was a dragon. A white dragon. Dragons are different."

"Don't ask me," Toph said unhelpfully. "Couldn't see him."

"Also," Sokka said, "I've been checking the records, and I am almost absolutely certain that our current problem is not due to the Fire Empire performing evil forbidden heretical science experiments with sorcery -- does anyone actually know what sorcery is? -- and everyone there going mad."

"Not even Zuko?" Katara asked.

"Okay," Sokka said. "Maybe Zuko."
incandescens: (Default)
Title: the genuine article
Requester: [livejournal.com profile] flemmings
Series: Saiyuki Gaiden / Scales
Requested Topic: OK, will bite. Crossover: Scales and Saiyuki (Gaiden or main). Prompt: meat buns.
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/724310.html

"All right," Kenren said. "Invasion of extraterrestrial flying reptiles, not something which happens every day, but I was at least expecting some action. What happened?"

"I notified the most logical people to take an interest," Tenpou said. "Goujun-sama was very interested to see the full reports. I believe he took the arrival of these 'dragons' quite personally."

"Yeah, he's been very cheerful," Kenren agreed. "Actually offered me one of those meatbuns from that new dish in his office."

A pause.

"You're very quiet," Kenren said suspiciously.

"Oh dear," Tenpou said. "Well, I suppose at least it's not cannibalism, per se . . ."
incandescens: (Default)
Title: strawberry-scented shampoo
Requester: [livejournal.com profile] liralen
Series: Bleach / Saiyuki
Requested Topic: Gojyo (Saiyuki) and Renji (Bleach)-- "Bloody hair care".
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/685692.html


Having settled the fight via negotiation, discussion, and rational common sense, Hakkai and Kuchiki Byakuya were hunting for their respective colleagues. No doubt, Hakkai mused gloomily, Gojou would be in the middle of some extravagant brawl with this Renji person.

He hadn't expected to find them washing each others' hair in the river and complaining about the problems with split ends.

However, Kuchiki Byakuya's reaction to the situation (involving something called a bankai and a lot of swords) suggested that his feelings were not entirely dissimilar to Hakkai's when it came to colleagues bathing naked with strangers and discussing hairstyling.
incandescens: (Yarn + 2)
Title: stash problems
Requester: [livejournal.com profile] oyceter
Series: Saiyuki
Requested Topic: Knitting/anything. I'd love Al from FMA knitting or Saiyuki knitting or Ishida knitting, or really, anything.
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/556274.html

"Hakkai," Gojou said, trying to sound firm and positive.

"Mm?"

"We need to have a little talk about this new habit of yours."

"I've almost finished those fingerless gloves for you."

"Hey, cool -- wait, that's not what I meant. Look. Hakkai. Um . . ."

Hakkai stopped knitting, folded his hands, and looked up expectantly.

"Look, I think the wool stuff is way cool. Good hobby. It's great that it lowers your blood pressure and keeps you calm and everything. But about the wool . . ."

"Yes?"

"You need to find some place to put it that isn't Jiipu's back seat before we all suffocate."
incandescens: (Default)
Title: priorities
Requester: [livejournal.com profile] krecik
Requested Topic: Hakkai x Jeep.
Series: Saiyuki
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/452681.html

priorities )
incandescens: (Default)
Title: regular dosage
Requester: yhibiki
Requested Topic: Scary-jealous-seme!Hakkai/Gojyo.
Series: Saiyuki
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/398869.html

Read more... )
incandescens: (Default)
Title: And On Day Seven Garrison Gossip Took A Rapid Vacation
Requester: picayochan
Requested Topic: Saiyuki Gaiden
Series: Saiyuki
Due to http://incandescens.livejournal.com/398869.html

Read more... )
incandescens: (Default)
Trying to remember a quotation from something unrelated that I may end up incorporating in my writing anyhow because I do stuff like that. Yes, here it is. From an old ballad, The Bitter Withy.

Ah bitter withy, ah bitter withy,
You have caused me to smart,
And the willow shall be the very first tree
To perish at the heart.

I have come to the conclusion that this is a convenient place to make notes of ideas and quotations, if only because I am so narcissistic that I am bound to read it again and see them.

"Living on human flesh in the mountains since childhood as you have," said Monkey, "can you recognize two kinds of tree?"
"I don't know," Pig said. "Which two trees?"
"The willow and the sandalwood," Monkey replied. "The willow has a very soft nature, so that craftsmen can carve it into holy images or make statues of the Tathagata out of it. It's gilded, painted, set with jewels, decorated with flowers, and many worshippers burn incense to it. It receives unbounded blessings. But the sandalwood is so hard that it's used as the pressing-beam in the oil-press with iron hoops round its head, and it's hit with iron hammers too. The only reason it suffers like this is because it's so hard."
(_Journey to the West_, volume 4 in my edition)

Other than that -- Father's Day. My father liked the card and little book about text messages that I got him. My brother and sister also remembered to phone, which is good.

I put off my ironing till tomorrow. I just know that I'm going to regret this. Ah well.

Profile

incandescens: (Default)
incandescens

September 2017

S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213 141516
17181920 212223
24252627282930

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 25th, 2017 06:37 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios